


Everybody shut up, Barry has an Erection

by Sam_Clover



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Awkward Boners, Blizzards & Snowstorms, Car Sex, Friends to Lovers, Grinding, M/M, Pining, Razzabang - Freeform, Roommates to lovers, it's awkward, somehow no direct mention of dicks, what is that stupid golden foil blanket thing actually called
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 10:13:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10569201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sam_Clover/pseuds/Sam_Clover
Summary: Barry has a crush on Dan.Barry's car has a crash.Not really, that was a joke, it just stops working in a blizzard and doesn't have a heating.Body heat works better when you're naked. So do boners.I'm super gay but I'm not one of them boys, so no gay sex with boys for me cause that wouldn't be gay anymore, so don't expect this to be realistic okay bye





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first smut fanfic so fuck off  
> just kidding love you have fun

"Shit."  
Barry turned the keys of his car again in a desperate attempt to get it going but all he got was a pathetic coughing noise. He should have gotten rid of this useless thing months ago, when he got stranded in the middle of a roundabout and almost got a rather expensive ticket for holding up traffic.  
Maybe then he wouldn't be stuck in a damn blizzard at 4 a.m. on a Sunday. And neither would Dan.  
His roomate had just watched silently as the car gave out and Barry swore his way through it and only now carefully uttered a thought.  
"Barry, I don't mean to be pessimistic. But it's way past cool out there and the heating in your car doesn't work."  
"We're not going to die here."  
He wasn't quite sure wether or not he believed that entirely.  
There he was, putting Danny in an actual life threatening situation. Good job.  
At least the light in the car still worked.  
"Come on, Bear."  
Dan had a habit of calling people by animal names when they were upset. Much like "Big Cat" when he was comforting Arin, "Bear" was the first response to any sign of genuine discontent Barry showed. Like all things Dan did, it created a content warmth in his chest.

Somehow, the editor had found himself completely infatuated with his roommate long before his damned car started to become a stupid wreck. When exactly had this even begun?  
Dan, singing in the shower? Dan, napping on the couch after a long day? Danny, laughing lazily at the breakfast table?  
He wouldn't know when these things became the most marvellous part of his day.  
Glady, he put up with hearing his name in the middle of the night, panic in Dan's voice from the night terrors he sometimes got. More so, if he could touch him, hold him, curl up to him on the sofa, Barry would put up with anything. Not that there was much he would get annoyed with. The rings under Dan's eyes, maybe. But even those made him look sexy in a rugged way.

"Barry."  
The familiar voice snapped him out of the thought process.  
"Yes, uhm, the car."  
"No, Barry, I said I don't have a signal. We can't call for help."  
Well, shit. Maybe they'd actually die here. It was horribly cold and regarding isolation, the car didn't really do much good.  
"Okay, don't panic.", he murmured, "Which options do we have..."  
Dan sighed, "We have to sit this one out."  
"We'll freeze to death!"  
Granted, that might've been a bit too hysteric. Barry slumped down into the driver's seat.  
Danny didn't answer. The road they had stranded on wasn't very well driven, so the chance of other cars, especially in a goddamn blizzard, were extremely slim. If they tried to walk anywhere, they'd most definitely end up dead and who knew how long this storm would go on.  
"What is in this car, Bear? Do we have blankets?"  
Blankets, blankets, no, there were no blankets in his car. He shook his head.  
Dan bit his lip, thinking. Fuck, Barry couldn't focus like this. He closed his eyes.

Suddenly, it hit him.  
"First Aid Kit!", he yelled. He felt Danny jump at the loudness of his epiphany but didn't pay it any mind, Dan was easy to scare.  
He scrambled to reach under the driver's seat and, sure enough, the plastic box was there and, sure enough, the weird golden foil blanket thing was in there.  
"Nice one, Bear."  
Damn that smile, damn it. Daniel Avidan was a straight dude. He always stressed it, even when implying gay stuff it became clear that he was a very heterosexual individual. This was unhealthy pining and Barry knew it.

Well, that's basically the story of how he ended up next to an almost naked Dan in the backseat of his shitty car. It did the trick, they weren't freezing to death.  
It was awkward, to say the least. They were shivering against each others bare bodies, the foil blanket making noise with every shiver and their breaths going irregularly, trembling with the cold. Nobody talked, because what do you say??  
Goddamn, Barry's mind was racing. Dan was lying right next to him, wearing nothing but UNDERWEAR, cuddling up to him to get warm.

Well, unfortunately, things got rather -stiff - in the cold. In other words, before he could think of broccoli, Barry had gotten a boner. As if this weren't awkward enough already, he thought, mentally punching himself.  
He decided to just not move and pray that it would go away. But with Dan's breath quivering onto his skin, there was no way he could concentrate on broccoli. He held his own breath instead.  
Wrong decision.  
Somehow, Dan immediately noticed this and, apparently, got worried.  
"Bear, are you okay?"  
He shifted to look at him. More importantly, he shifted in general, his leg brushing against Barry's 'bone zone', as he might say.  
There was a sharp inhale from the smaller man. His heartbeat went insane.  
Dan went very silent.  
Barry, however, panicked.  
"This isn't... It's not, you know, I'm not, it's just...-"  
"It's okay, Bear, it's not like I've never had a boner before. I wrote several songs about it. 'Everybody shut up', 'No reason boner', and probably more, yeah? Don't worry about it."  
Damnit, why was Dan always so understanding? If he had just freaked out, his little embarrassment would have gone away.  
Danny leaned back again, brushing against him again, but this time there was no containing it. A stifled moan slipped out of Barry's mouth. Fuck.  
He shut his eyes with all the force he could muster up and just wished to dissolve in hot shame.  
Nothing happened.  
It was unbearable how there was no talking, no moving, no anything, only the howling wind around the car.  
That is, until a cold hand was placed on his chest.  
He flinched. The hand stayed. That hand with the lanky fingers and the absurdly large thumb. Dan's hand.  
Barry didn't dare move. As he heard the crackling of the blanket and felt Dan move his torso, most likely to be above his own, and a small exhale hit his lips, his breath hitched. He wasn't prepared for this.  
Trembling, his lips parted ever so slightly, his eyes still clenched shut.

When Dan's lips hit softly met his, a fire lit in his stomach. This was happening. Chills went down his spine, making him shake violently. Barry finally opened his eyes. His gaze met Dan's and suddenly, everything made sense.  
The editor grabbed him by the hair -that gorgeus hair he'd never before dared to touch- to pull him into a hungry, needy kiss. As their mouths crashed into each other, they inhaled sharply, trying to handle all the desire at once, rhythmically, fluently moving against each other. Dan's tongue ran along his lips and Barry parted them to allow it inside, letting it explore his mouth, breathing him in. He was grabbing his neck quite fiercely, taking control of the kiss while Barry buried his finger in those curls, holding on as if his life depended on it.   
Dan shifted on top of Barry to straddle him, not at all willing to stop biting at his lips while he did so. At the touch of their groins, the smaller man moaned into Danny's mouth, eliciting a low growl from his roommate that sent shivers through his body. One hand still in his hair, he jerked Dan's head back, just hard enough to expose his throat. The whining sound the singer made drove him absolutely crazy. He trailed his mouth along his neck, feeling his pulse accelerate as well as his own. Just as he started biting Dan's collarbone, the tall man grabbed him by the wrists and slammed him back down, the blanket rustling around them.  
When he leaned down to suck at his throat, Barry lost all control. Involuntarily, he bucked his hips, grinding against the singer in desperation.  
Groaning and throwing his head back, Danny began to roll his hips.  
The friction made Barry forget where he was, his eyes fluttered shut and little moans escaped his lips. Dan was picking up the pace, needily running his fingers along his roommates' sides, making him squirm under his touch.  
Barry felt like he might pass out. In pure ecstacy, they moved against each other, breath heavy and bodies sweaty, running their fingers over every bit of skin they could find.  
Just when he thought he was about to finish, Barry was brought back to the car by Dan's growling voice.  
"Look at me.", he commanded in a low, intimidating tone that sent him over the edge as he fixed his eyes on his roommate. His hips crashed into Dan's, his back arching and legs trembling. Barry made a desperate choking sound, followed by a pleading moan from the singer, almost melodic.  
Seconds later, Dan collapsed onto him, shaking and crying out, biting into Barry's shoulder to muffle the sound.  
He was dizzy and light-headed.

"Fuck, Barry.", Dan whispered into his neck. He was still shaking slightly but they definitely weren't cold anymore. Barry cupped his jaw pressed a gentle kiss to Dan's lips.  
"I think I'm in love with you.", he breathed, resting their foreheads together.  
Dan moved to lean on his arm, looking down at his roommate.  
"So... Does this mean you'd like me to be with you?"  
Barry nodded.  
Dan, beautiful, sexy Dan smiled and leaned down to steal another kiss.  
"Will you accept my humble love, Bareth?", he giggled.  
"Only if you swear never to call me that again."  
Their laughter was cut off by bright headlights approaching on the road.

The car stopped right next to theirs and a man exited, his long hair swept back by the wind. Only as his face came up to the window, they recognised him.  
"Holy fuck, guys.", Arin sounded horrified when he opened the door, "I couldn't reach any of you and it's crazy outside and I was worried so I went to check on you 'cause your car is a piece of shit and then I saw it pulled over here; I thought you'd died when I saw you lying there, fuck.", he paused for air and seemed to forget what else he might've wanted to say.  
"Good call on that blanket though."  
Stumped that nobody had interrupted or answered him, Arin hesitated.  
Barry knew too well that this car smelled like sex and they sure looked like it, too. Their friend seemed to come to the same conclusion.  
"Damn, Barry.", he mumbled, trying to ease the tension, "I'm jealous, dude."  
Dan grinned and started putting his pants on, "Close that door, Arin."  
Arin got back into his own car.  
"Well, that was painfully awkward.",  
Barry sighed.  
"Don't worry about it."

"Seriously, guys.", Arin scolded them jokingly as he drove them home, "I worry that you've succumbed to hypothermia and you're just casually fucking in the back of your garbage-ass car."  
"Truly scandalous, Mr. We-had-a-club-called-the-D-club.", Dan snickered quietly, careful of Barry sleeping on his shoulder.  
"Thanks for going after us, Arin. I wouldn't have liked to die just when I got myself a cute live-in boyfriend."  
Arin smiled to himself, glancing into the back mirror. These two had been driving him insane, pining over each other for months.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I'm here to tell you that you're amazing and you're totally worth it, have good one


End file.
